Dharamsala, India: 1 July - 12 July 2007

My Meditation Experience

The day when i left from Delhi to Dharamsala, i was hanging around Paharagaj and Connaught Place. One Indian young guy basically just came to me and asked me whether i wanted to have sex with him! i don't know what was wrong with me. It seems like i am some kind of easy target to unwholesome things.

People molest me in the bus, even when i was sitting in the rishaw, somebody could just came to me and touched me thigh. When i shaked hand with people, they could just said hintingly, "Soft skin." i have talked to the girls in the retreat, none of them are getting this kind of things that i were getting!

Initially i plan to stay for may be another 4 to 5 days in Dharamsala to do yoga , massage and others. But a scottish girl and a Isreali girl i knew from the retreat are going to Leh and Kashmir later in 2 days time. i think i am joining them then, for safety reason. :)

The retreat centre is beautiful and peaceful. Right in the middle of pine tree forest in the mountain and we were like living in the cloud.

Out of 10 days, it rained for 7 days and it was so cold at night that i couldn't really sleep.

We did not speak for 10 days and the meditation was wonderful . The best i ever had in my life and in some way, it gave me some realizations. The schedule was very simple. Wake up 4am, meditate at 4.30am until 6.30am. Then breakfast until 8am. Continue to meditate until 11am and lunch until 1pm. Then meditate again until 5pm, dinner until 6pm and dhamma talk cum mediation until 9pm. Sleep at 9.30pm. So we have to do meditation for almost 12 hours everyday.

The first, second and third days were difficult. So much wondering minds that i couldn't meditate. Merely sittiang there and thought about this and that. i thought about my family, friends, colleagues, career and my travel. Some people really impressed me as they have never do a meditation before and yet they signed up for this kind of intensive meditation and yet they pull through the ten day. This reminded me of some of my buddhist friends who are so phobia about this kind of intensive meditation. They don't know what they have missed.

Day 1: We were asked to observe our breath. All i could do was thinking this and that and hardly be able to concentrate for more than 20 minutes.

Day 2: We were asked to observe the sensation at the triangle area from our upper lip to the nose area. Same to me. i could barely concentrate without the wondering mind.

Day 3: We were asked to observe the sensation of our whole body without reacting to it. Same same. This is callled vipassana. i had too much wondering mind to do anything.

For the rest of the day after this, we were to do vipassana, which is to observe the sensation of our whole body.

The forth day i am able to meditate a bit and by 5th day and the rest of the days, the meditation was good. i was able to observe my sensation (eg. numbness and pain at feet) without reacting to it. Watching the numbness came and go away and came again was amazing to me. Doesn't this just like life? A lot of time that you think the pain and suffering were unbearable, but when you pull through, then it was fine again. But the next time, you just experience another kind of pain and suffering. It just comes and goes all the time.

i feel peaceful and blessed after this retreat.

At the 10th day, we were allowed to talk. The sudden flood of sounds was over whelming that i thought it was so noisy and unbearable. But this 'lift' of ban has helped us to prepare for the 11th day when we have to back to the 'real world' again.
In some way, there was a kind of link between the people who we have been seeing for ten days but without any communication.

i am glad that i attended to this retreat and i am sure that, there will be another time for me.



When the weather is good, the Himalaya range could be clearly see from the town centre of MacLeod Ganj.



The reception of the meditation centre. This was the last day and everyone was busying making donation, buying books, returning bed sheet or getting back our valuable things.



A Rinpoche giving dhamma talk to the pilgrims from Taiwan during the week long celebration of Dalai Lama's birthday at Tsuglagkhang Complex.

Bombay-Ahmadabad-Udaipur: 9June07

i think you probably could only see thousands of men washing clothes together in India. We took a train to go to a dhoby ghat and witnesses the incredible scene. Then we went to the mosque in the middle of the sea (or rubbish? the causeway was surrounded by rubbish). You could only access to the mosque during low tide while the causeway link the land to the mosque was submerged during high tide.

We took a sitting day train to Ahmadabad to change to Udaipur. The episode of the day was Matt went down the train to buy newspaper. The train moved and i thought he would be some where in other cabin. After half an hour, when more people boarded the train, i was kind of panicked. He got everything with me and if he missed the train, it would be very very bad. The people sat around me obviously think i am his wife and they started to look at me with a kind of sympathy. Before i started to cry (after days of reliances with Matt and Vivien, i got very much meek now), Matt just appeared again in front of me. i was relieved and it was definitely not easy for me to carry 2 person's backpacks!

Cost: 202 Rs



Mahalaxmi Dhobi Ghat. According to Lonely Planet, 5000 men are working here. They use rows of open-air troughs to beat the dirt out of the housands of kilograms of soiled clothes brought from all over the city each day. It was indeed an amazing sight.



Haji Ali's Mosque. This whitewashed mosque is in the middle of Arabian Sea. It becomes an island during high tide but is accessible at the other times via the concrete causeway lined with beggars. The legend says the Muslim saint Haji Ali died while on a pilgrimage to Mecca and his casket miraculously floated back to Mumbai and landed at this spot. Then the devotees built this mosque which contains His tomb.



The palace on Jamandir Island of placid lake Pichola. Udairpur is called white city as most of the buildings are in white color. It is Rajasthan's most romantic city and a really good place for honeymoon. We got a room right facing to the lake and palace for off season price at Rs 200. A room like this would cost Rs 500-800 during peak period.

Bombay: 8 June 07

Vivien Leaving

We woke up at 4am so that we could go to the dock at 5am for the fishing trade at the dock. This was some kind of thing that i would only do with friends and not alone.
(Unfortunately, photography is not allowed at the colourful and lively dock.)

Vivien is leaving and Matt would go to the slum with a photographer from Denmark. i would walk around on my own, spend time at museum.

When i hugged said good bye to Vivien, i felt very sad. So people comes and goes. When i walked around the street on my own again, i felt lonely and miserable. i felt it like part of my life. A lot of time, i have to learn to 'enjoy' the loneliness and to enjoy the beauty of things myself. Probably nobody will stay in my life and this would be something that i needed to get used to. May be, i am looking for something in India. May be something spiritual or others. i won't know until the end of the trip.

Cost: 700 Rs



Victoria Terminus (renamed as Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus for patriotism reason) is said to be the most exuberant Gothic building in Mumbai. It looks more like a lavishly decorated palace or cathedral than a railway interchange. It has beautiful carving and stained-glass window.



Bombay University. According to Lonely Planet, it looks like a 15th century Italian masterpiece dropped into the middle of an Indian metropolis. i agree.



Prince of Wales Museum. Again, for patriotism, the name is changed to a very long Indian name later. Unfortunately, the long long name, Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vastu Sangrahalaya, just sounds like a tongue twister to me. The huge white dome building was built to commemorate King George V's first visit to India. He was still Prince of Wales then.